Saturday, October 20, 2012


My fast has ended I feel God encouraging me to place all my hope in him.  I read through the book 30 Days of Prayer for the Voiceless, my hope seemed to drain out, the evil and oppression some live through is hard for me to comprehend and as I wait for our children to come home and I pray that they are not experiencing these kind of things, I must put all of my hope in him.

A couple of weeks ago I asked the church congregation to pray for our children as the wait seemed to be dragging on forever, and of course I got emotional as I always do when I talk about our adoption.  After church, people asked me if we'd been matched with a child yet, etc etc., and I knew they couldn't comprehend my bond to children I didn't know anything about or even how many children we're getting.  It's hard to explain that I know because God has told me there are two and it's hard to explain that God has already connected my heart to theirs and so my heart aches to hold them in my arms.  I know people mean well and they are trying to understand, and yet they don't understand.  I feel like an island in this adoption.  I see others on the horizon trying to see and understand but their view is limited and their understanding limited because their knowledge is all gathered from a distance.

A week or so after I shared at church, a lady stopped me after Sunday school and asked me how our adoption was going and I went into my usual explanation, but she stopped me and  held out her hand to me.  I didn't understand at first that she was trying to give me something.  She handed me a small, yellow glass disc and on it was the word HOPE.  She said, "you just hold on to this while you wait."  I teared up and thanked her.  She had touched my heart deeply, maybe she hadn't experienced the ups and downs of adoption but she had understood my despair and knew I needed hope that day.  I know she was being obedient to God, He had sent her to gently remind me where my hope should be placed. 

Romans 15:13
So I pray for you Gentiles that God who gives hope will keep you happy and full of peace as you believe in him.  I pray that God will help you overflow with hope in him through the Holy Spirit's power within you.


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