Thursday, December 9, 2010

Lessons from: Land Before Time

Ever heard of it? Well here at the Singleton household it's been a favorite a number of times. Owen and Abe LOVED it when they were three and four! Sam however, just discovered it a couple of months ago. So every morning after breakfast he begins asking to watch "his show", his favorite right now is #2, The Big Freeze. I hear bits and pieces as I work around the house. In this particular episode a spike tail herd passes through the "great valley" where Spike and Ducky live. Ducky is a swimmer and Spike is a spike tail, of course. Anyway, Spikes birth family has all passed away and Ducky's mother adopts Spike. WELL when the spike tails migrate through the valley a well meaning spike tailed mother offers to have Spike come for a visit, she thinks he might enjoy being with others that are like him. Spike is eager and curious and heads off with the spike tailed family. Ducky's mother is hesitant, yet she let's him go. Ducky is not at all happy with Spike, he is mad that Spike would want anything but his family. At the end of the movie Spike is in danger and immediately Ducky's mother saves him without thought to her own safety and the spike tailed mother admits that truly Ducky's mother is the only mother for Spike.

As I was listening to the movie and thinking about a conversation I had with another mother considering adoption, it all seemed to come together in my mind. She was asking lots of questions about culture and wanting to know how we incorporate our kids culture now that were home and in America. And to be totally honest I'm not sure that we do an excellent job of it, but I'm not sure that is what is really important. Do we talk about ET and Colombia and have visible signs of their countries around the house? Of course. But do they really grasp their culture? No, probably not. Do we try to instill in them a love and pride for their birth countries? Yes! But where they're from isn't as important as where they're going. God is using their past to shape them into the people he has called them to be for the good works he has prepared for them in advance to do. So maybe we should be more focused on teaching them to follow hard after God and not worry so much about culture. And if you really believe that God is calling you to adopt, be certain, be very certain in your own mind that no you won't get everything right and yes some well meaning "spike tail' might imply that your child would be better off in his or her own culture or race, but I disagree. God chose our children for us before the beginning of time and no one will ever convince me otherwise. Do I understand the pain and heartache it has caused for God to orchestrated their placement in our home? No I don't and my heart often breaks for my sons birth parents and their deep loss. "Let everyone bless God and sing his praises, for he holds our lives in his hands. And he holds our feet to the path. Psalms 66:8-9" Nothing is coincidence. So don't get caught up in thinking you don't look the same or act the same or you don't know anyone else from child's birth country. Adoption becomes it's own culture and there is a vast network of support out there. You might think your adding one new culture to your family but really it's two. Do it, let God have his way in your heart and be blessed, so very very blessed.

5 comments:

  1. AMEN Leigha!! You said this so beautifully as always! Love and miss you guys so much!! What's this I hear about a reunion in Indiana in January?

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  2. love this post, leigha! great thoughts! merry Christmas to you guys!

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  3. So perfectly expressed!!! Thanks for posting your heart!!!

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  4. Hi Team Singleton. I recognize this conversation! Laura and I had a great weekend and are moving forward with local adoption first. We are meeting on January 3 with an agency in Anderson. Thanks for the encouragement and we are following you guys online... we are down for Christmas so see you then. Josh

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  5. Leigha, what a wonderfully refreshing perspective. Thank you so much for sharing. We are so looking forward to the reunion in January and finally meeting everyone.

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