Wednesday, September 22, 2010

I had an interesting conversation last night..

Last night on the soccer field watching my two oldest boys practicing soccer, I had an interesting conversation with a fifth grade girl. I know her and her family, but haven't really had a conversation with her until now. She thinks Isaac is adorable and like most girls her age, she is dieing to hold him. He of course would much rather run loose all over the soccer field and beyond.

So were visiting and she asks me if all the boys are adopted?

I say no Owen is biological and Abe, Sam, and Isaac are adopted.

Then she asks if another brown skinned boy from their team, was my son too?

I say no he's just a friend.

Then she asks are they brothers?

I say yes they are brothers.

She says no I mean do they have the same mom and dad?

I say yes me. I'm their mom.

She persists, no I mean their real mom?

I say, Yes they all have different birth parents, but they are indeed brothers. By this point I'm getting a little frustrated that she doesn't seem to get it yet, I know she isn't being purposefully hurtful. How grateful I am that Owen, Abe, and Sam didn't hear this conversation. She wasn't done yet.

She went on to ask me if their parents just don't want them? Ouch!!

I said, it's not that they don't want them!!!!! It's more that they can't raise them, for lots of different reasons but mostly because their to poor to care for their needs.

I thought about this conversation a lot last night and of course the perfect answer comes to me late at night laying in bed. Next time I'll say, their parents love them very much, so much so, they spent thousands of dollars to bring them home, they traveled thousands of miles and crossed an ocean just to pick them up, and we would do all again a thousand times over just to have them home. God may have used one couple to give them life but the Lord knew what they needed and where he wanted them to grow up and he knew just the right family to place them with. No matter how they came to be where they are now I know for certain that before the beginning of time God created me to be their mama and he ordained them to by my babies.

I know this conversation had a purpose, I know I'll be better prepared the next time the questions come and hopefully if my boys are present they'll be reassured and not hurt by the questions.

What do you all think? I'd love to hear your comments and advise?


  1. Oh how I hate that question! I always say yes- ALL my children are brothers and sisters-- I've even had someone say, "are that one and that one brothers? They don't look like the others." Still I answer, they are ALL siblings. I also get a lot from people who don't know us-- "Is your husband black?"

    For the other question about birth parents not wanting them-- next time I'm going to be ready with, "Do you know Jesus? Because if you don't, you're an orphan, too."

    I love you Leah!

  2. Wow, Leah. That was a doozie. If I know you and your sweet, gracious smile, you handled it well. They ARE brother. Brothers joined together by a bond few people will ever understand.

    I usually don't get upset by the questions, but I did have a lovely conversation with a man shouting questions at Vismay about people with dots on their heads. He was loud because non-English speakers are deaf, right? Vismay was clearly annoyed too and promptly turned his back to the man.