Lessons from: Land Before Time

Ever heard of it? Well here at the Singleton household it's been a favorite a number of times. Owen and Abe LOVED it when they were three and four! Sam however, just discovered it a couple of months ago. So every morning after breakfast he begins asking to watch "his show", his favorite right now is #2, The Big Freeze. I hear bits and pieces as I work around the house. In this particular episode a spike tail herd passes through the "great valley" where Spike and Ducky live. Ducky is a swimmer and Spike is a spike tail, of course. Anyway, Spikes birth family has all passed away and Ducky's mother adopts Spike. WELL when the spike tails migrate through the valley a well meaning spike tailed mother offers to have Spike come for a visit, she thinks he might enjoy being with others that are like him. Spike is eager and curious and heads off with the spike tailed family. Ducky's mother is hesitant, yet she let's him go. Ducky is not at all happy with Spike, he is mad that Spike would want anything but his family. At the end of the movie Spike is in danger and immediately Ducky's mother saves him without thought to her own safety and the spike tailed mother admits that truly Ducky's mother is the only mother for Spike.

As I was listening to the movie and thinking about a conversation I had with another mother considering adoption, it all seemed to come together in my mind. She was asking lots of questions about culture and wanting to know how we incorporate our kids culture now that were home and in America. And to be totally honest I'm not sure that we do an excellent job of it, but I'm not sure that is what is really important. Do we talk about ET and Colombia and have visible signs of their countries around the house? Of course. But do they really grasp their culture? No, probably not. Do we try to instill in them a love and pride for their birth countries? Yes! But where they're from isn't as important as where they're going. God is using their past to shape them into the people he has called them to be for the good works he has prepared for them in advance to do. So maybe we should be more focused on teaching them to follow hard after God and not worry so much about culture. And if you really believe that God is calling you to adopt, be certain, be very certain in your own mind that no you won't get everything right and yes some well meaning "spike tail' might imply that your child would be better off in his or her own culture or race, but I disagree. God chose our children for us before the beginning of time and no one will ever convince me otherwise. Do I understand the pain and heartache it has caused for God to orchestrated their placement in our home? No I don't and my heart often breaks for my sons birth parents and their deep loss. "Let everyone bless God and sing his praises, for he holds our lives in his hands. And he holds our feet to the path. Psalms 66:8-9" Nothing is coincidence. So don't get caught up in thinking you don't look the same or act the same or you don't know anyone else from child's birth country. Adoption becomes it's own culture and there is a vast network of support out there. You might think your adding one new culture to your family but really it's two. Do it, let God have his way in your heart and be blessed, so very very blessed.

My Big Buckaroo turned 4!!

Sammy is four and Sammy is big, physically, I mean. People always ask how old are you, and he tells them, then they look at me to confirm, and then there eyes get big when I say, yes he really is only four. Sam loves to dress-up. Cowboy is his favorite, but we also have church man or singer man, which involves brown pants (Khakis) a button down shirt and a tie. Don't even consider putting the wrong shoes with the wrong outfit he knows what look he's going for and you might as well get he suited up the proper way or he won't stop bothering you about it until you do. We also have game man and worker man. It's interesting every morning to see who he wants to be that day.

Sam is a persistent child, one day several weeks ago he got in trouble nagging me about watching his "show" Land Before Time, so much so, that I wouldn't let he watch it at all that day. He was traumatized for sure. Today he asked after breakfast if he could watch his show, I said, sure let me get your brothers on the school bus first. Well five minuets later I'm doing dishes, completely forgetting his "show", when he says, mom I'm not bugging you about my show, see I'm not bugging you at all. He's so funny.

Sam had a interesting kick this fall. He fell in love with the good Samaritan. I did a story at church and had the boys help me act out the story. Sam was "Pastor Sammy" or priest who didn't stop to help because he didn't want to get his church clothes dirty, Owen was "brother Owen" or the Levitt who couldn't stop because he didn't want to be late for church, and Abe was the kid from the wrong side of the tracks that stopped to help. After doing that story at church Sam was hooked. I had to retell the story at least 3 or 4 times a day. One day while cleaning Sam and Abe's room, Sam requested the story AGAIN, I final wised up and said here lets find it in your Bible and you can look at the pictures. That Bible became his constant companion for the next month. It was so sweet to see him sitting on the couch "reading" nearly word for word because he had heard it read so many times. The Lord's hand is upon him.
Here are a few photos of his party. We love you Sammy, it wouldn't be the same without you.

Nana got Sam this authentic chaps and vest. He wore the vest to church but we talked him out of the chaps.
This is his Sammy cake, yes it's a cake designed around the birthday boy when he is dressed like singer man. He loved it!

Here are some other random pics you might enjoy.

Daddy and Isaac on Thanksgiving.

Owen posing for the camera.

Abe or is that Obi One, playing with Isaac.

Isaac hamming it up for the camera.

Look at that face!!

That's all for now.

Well I've been thinking about doing this post for a long time... so here goes. Two summer ago, we started talking about redoing our kitchen, it was a small eat in kitchen with room for five if we squeezed the high chair at the end of the bar, and were in process to get another baby (Isaac) so we knew something had to change. So we began making plans to redo the kitchen, it needed it, the cabinets were starting to fall apart and we just didn't fit any more. We were planning to remove some walls open it up and make the whole house more use able. Well we are blessed with an amazing carpenter in our family, my father-in-law, so we got him to help on this project. He built the cabinets and so much more.

This is Paul or Pap, as he is called at our house.

So we began our journey to remodel the kitchen and Paul asked his cousin Margie to come take a look and give us her expert opinion, she is a wonderful space planner. Well Margie took one look at the house and began adding on the moment she drove up. Here is what she saw.

She said, oh what they need is a laundry room/mud room and a two car garage with bedrooms above the garage, they need a new roof anyway might as well do it all at the same time and have it all match up. Well we were planning on a new roof as well, but that was it. Ben and I were a bit overwhelmed. After they left we had a good start on a plan for the kitchen, but we were both rolling our eyes at the thought of such a major addition. But the more we thought about it the more it started to make sense. We knew we weren't done adopting so maybe few more bedrooms a couple more bathrooms and a laundry room on the main level started to make sense. But we still weren't convinced until I saw this vs. 3 times in one morning and it really sealed it in my mind when I read it in the Living Bible.

Isaiah 54: 2-3 "Enlarge your house; build on an addition. Spread out your home, and spare no expense! For you will soon be bursting at the seams. Your descendants will occupy other nations."

It never ceases to amaze me when a vs. from the Bible speaks so clearly to me, for surly the word of the Lord is alive and active. Anyway here we are almost two years later Isaac came home right as we finished the kitchen and a month later we started the addition. Here it is..

this is the front

This is the front of the old house minus the dormer.

This is the back.

A few weeks ago we finished the last major piece of the remodel, or I should say Paul finished it, we refinished the hard wood floors in the old part of the house. Paul put the last layer of polyurethane on the floors Sat. morning and on Sunday morning preparing for my Sunday school class I felt God give us the go ahead for the next adoption. I hadn't said anything yet to Ben, I'd been bugging him all summer about starting another adoption and he really wouldn't say much. Which is really unusual!!! I have always been the one in the past to say let's wait, or not yet. So as I'm getting ready for church, Ben says out of the blue, are you ready to start another one. I just smiled and said yes, it's time. So here we go again!! We have applied to America World again our previous agency we used for Sam and Isaac. We have applied to the Ethiopian program again and initially we asked for two children. This may change as we are working with our agency they would like us to be prepared to take just one child as it is highly unlikely that two would be available at the same time. We're still praying about it. But we're looking forward to filling up this new addition until we're bursting at the seams.

Blessings,

Leigha

I had an interesting conversation last night..

Last night on the soccer field watching my two oldest boys practicing soccer, I had an interesting conversation with a fifth grade girl. I know her and her family, but haven't really had a conversation with her until now. She thinks Isaac is adorable and like most girls her age, she is dieing to hold him. He of course would much rather run loose all over the soccer field and beyond.

So were visiting and she asks me if all the boys are adopted?

I say no Owen is biological and Abe, Sam, and Isaac are adopted.

Then she asks if another brown skinned boy from their team, was my son too?

I say no he's just a friend.

Then she asks are they brothers?

I say yes they are brothers.

She says no I mean do they have the same mom and dad?

I say yes me. I'm their mom.

She persists, no I mean their real mom?

I say, Yes they all have different birth parents, but they are indeed brothers. By this point I'm getting a little frustrated that she doesn't seem to get it yet, I know she isn't being purposefully hurtful. How grateful I am that Owen, Abe, and Sam didn't hear this conversation. She wasn't done yet.

She went on to ask me if their parents just don't want them? Ouch!!

I said, it's not that they don't want them!!!!! It's more that they can't raise them, for lots of different reasons but mostly because their to poor to care for their needs.

I thought about this conversation a lot last night and of course the perfect answer comes to me late at night laying in bed. Next time I'll say, their parents love them very much, so much so, they spent thousands of dollars to bring them home, they traveled thousands of miles and crossed an ocean just to pick them up, and we would do all again a thousand times over just to have them home. God may have used one couple to give them life but the Lord knew what they needed and where he wanted them to grow up and he knew just the right family to place them with. No matter how they came to be where they are now I know for certain that before the beginning of time God created me to be their mama and he ordained them to by my babies.

I know this conversation had a purpose, I know I'll be better prepared the next time the questions come and hopefully if my boys are present they'll be reassured and not hurt by the questions.

What do you all think? I'd love to hear your comments and advise?

A MAMA'S HEART

Last night I scooped up my sweet baby out of his crib and was nearly moved to tears. You see that happens to me from time to time. A random routine situation will bring me to tears. As I gathered up my crying baby, held him close and moved to the kitchen I thanked God that I was his mama, that his birth mother had given him the best she knew how to give, she didn't want to let go, to miss all the little special moments of his life, she chose the hard things for herself so he could thrive. As I fixed his bottle, that he was crying his heart out for, I thought of all the other mamas around the world and how they have nothing to put in a bottle, with empty breasts and empty stomachs themselves, how their hearts must break at the cries of hunger coming from their children. Again I thank God that I can feed my babies, that I am not forced to give up my children because I can't feed them, because I live in a nation of extreme prosperity.

I think of Sam and his routine, although rather traumatic removal of his tonsils. What would have happened to him had he still been in Ethiopia? Would he have died for want of a routine procedure that happens here everyday? You see Sam's tonsils were so big they were waking him up at night, because when he fully relaxed his gigantic tonsils would cut off his air supply and he would wake up to breath. Life threatening here? NO WAY, but what if he was living on the street in Addis Ababa fending for himself, hungry, malnourished, and alone? For many children this is real life.

What will we do about it? To whom much is given, much is required! Have we given all that the Lord has required of us or are we giving a little in order to easy the guilt. Are we stuck, unsure of what to do, overwhelmed by the sheer magnitude of poverty and those affected? Has the Lord laid adoption on your heart, or maybe sponsorship, or maybe he calling you to pray? Have you shrugged it off, fear and worry taking the place of God's call. What if we'd been to scared? Where would my boys be? Would they live on the streets begging for food, or maybe sifting through the garbage dump looking for something to sell or eat in order to survive. A life is at sake. If the Lord is leading you don't wait the consequences could be dire for someone else.

Look who's ONE!

Yes it's true, Isaac turned 1 yesterday. We had a little celebration at home, and a larger party planned for Saturday night.

Isaac enjoyed an oatmeal cookie, and his brothers helped him blow out his candle.



This is what happens when Isaac has a fruit bar for breakfast. It gets everywhere and this boy really likes to smear things in his hair and after the fruit bar we have to resort to a wash down in the sink. Needless to say we only have fruit bars when we also have time for a rinse. Isaac enjoys all of it immensely.

Is he cute or what?

This child loves to laugh and has a about a half dozen different laughs which always seem to fit the occasion. And it just so happens his name means laughter. Needless to say were all madly in love with this little guy and believe it or not were already starting to think dream and pray about our next baby! How does God do that! I never dreamed I'd be a mother of four boys, let alone 4 boys from three different continents and now I'm already dreaming of another brown eyed, brown skinned beauty. My heart already aches to wrap my arms around my baby. Have a blessed day! More pictures to come of the up coming party.

On a side note we went to the fair yesterday and some friends of our allowed the boys to get in with there ram so the boys could pet it. Well it was time to go the ram had, had enough so Sam reached out to pet it one more time and then he licked it right in the middle of it's back and then grinned ear to ear. Oh Sam we never know what your going to do next and yet I wasn't surprised, it was soooo funny!!!

June 20th was a big day for the Singletons

Sorry this is long overdue! I need to do better on posting, the days seem to short and the to do list to long! Father's Day was a big deal this year not only does Ben now have another son to call him DaDa, but Owen was baptised, it was Abe's 5th gotcha day and Isaac was 11 months old. If that's not a reason to celebrate then i don't know what is.



Daddy and the boys, none of them like to have there picture taken, including Daddy, can't you tell!



This is Owen preparing for his baptisism, later that night I asked him about it and was telling him how proud we were of him and his decision to follow Christ and this is what he said, "Water feel good on outside and heart feel good on inside." We are so proud of him and praying he will always jump in where God leads.






Here is the boy who started it all. I can't believe it's been five years already. We love you buddy and we're so glad God chose us to be your family.





Here is our mover and shaker. He's been cruising around on all fours for a month now and he's getting good with a walker. Time flys, soon we'll be having a birthday party!





This is singer man (aka Sam) he often comes out for special occasions and church. We still haven't figured it out yet, we'll let you know when we do!

We've been so blessed by all of our children and can't imagine our family without them and we eagerly await the next child God has for our family.