My Heart, Her Heart

Isaac holding his new baby cousin Lydia

As I sit outside enjoying the early morning quiet, Isaac wakes up and comes to find me.  He climbs up in my lap and snuggles in close under the blanket.  I'm enjoying the sweet feeling of holding my baby, all his sweetness and love.  I am overwhelmed with the privilege of being his mother, of being the one to get all these moments, to see his smiles, to comfort him, hold him, to be the one he calls mom.  Then I think of his birth mother, what if circumstances had been different.  My heart feels heavy guilty even.  But then the Lord whispers, I have chosen you for him don't try to carry the weight of a decision you did not make. So I'll rest in that, For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways...For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:8-9. It's hard to reconcile her great loss with my tremendous gain.  So I pray for her and trust in the ways of my God.

Under His Wings

As I sit outside this morning doing my devotions , birds are fluttering all around me.  The last several weeks the Lord has been speaking to me about my children that are not yet home, through the birds around me and the nesting they are doing to prepare for the little ones soon to arrive. So as I sit hear listening to the birds singing all around me, I am pondering a mental image from a book I recently read. A mama eagle perched in her nest with her 3 young chicks and a storm is raging all around.  The mama has a wing outstretched covering her babies, and under her wing they slept.

Psalm 91:4 He will cover you with his feathers and under his wings you will find refuge...

so as I watched these birds fluttering around me another vs. came to mind Matthew 6:25-27, in these vs. Jesus is basically saying stop worrying, the birds don't worry and look how well they are cared for.  I don't need to worry about my precious baby birds in ET they are gently covered under the wings of the most High God. They will find refuge, though the storm rages all around, they will sleep peacefully under his feathers, finding refuge and care.  Thank you Jesus

Twins perhaps

I found this picture about a year ago. It says A DOUBLE BLESSING at the bottom.  If you've ever been to our house you know I have a collection of these baby pictures hanging on my wall going up the stairs to the boys rooms.  After I found this picture I began to see twins everywhere at church, Walmart, in ads, and on TV. So I began to make a list of twin spottings and I soon gave up after about a month because there were too many to count.  I know this is God speaking to me as only he can, reassuring me, leading me gently along this long road of waiting, encouraging me with a double blessing at the end of this long adoption road.